When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

  • by George Carlin
  • Narrated by George Carlin
  • 7 hrs and 19 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.
He also has a silly side:

You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.


What the Critics Say

Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
2005 Quill Award Nominee
Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005
"There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

The funniest man to ever live.

How could you possibly not love the late great George Carlin?
Hilarious, wise, and insightful, this man will never fail to entertain, inform and educate.
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- Jason.W

Carlin was more than this World deserved

George Carlin was one of the greatest minds we had the pleasure to see into through works like this. I haven't read/heard his other books so there could be better, but this was very entertaining and as always with Mr. Carlin, thought provoking. A little dated in places, so if you weren't culturally aware at the time this was written it might be a little lost on you, but it's not severe. Buy it and enjoy. WWGCD.
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- Jon Burkitt

Book Details

  • Release Date: 13-10-2004
  • Publisher: Hyperion AudioBooks