Summary

Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I'm stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who's teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions, and my attraction to a hotter-than-Satan's-underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous...it's possibly deadly. For real dead.
Permanent death isn't on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I'm his, it's easier said than done. Like that's not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I'm some sort of Chosen One. Holy hell, if I'm in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
©2014 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.
Show More Show Less

Regular price: £24.19

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free
  • 1 credit/month after trial – choose any book, any price
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel
  • Free, unlimited access to Audio Shows
  • After your trial, Audible is just £7.99/month
Select or Add a new payment method

Buy Now with 1 Credit

By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Buy Now for £24.19

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
4 out of 5 stars
By Elizabeth White on 18-06-18

Fantastic series

Having read this book on my kindle I was really looking forward to just sitting back and listening to one of my favourite authors. I knew the story was funny, so I expected to laugh out loud at quite a few places in the tale, but I ended up laughing so loud I woke my poor hubby from his slumber. I have a really loud laugh so I was thankful I decided not to listen to it while on holiday or the folks by the pool would be calling for the men in white coats for the crazy lady laughing insanely on her sunbed! Anyway, I digress, this tale is so much worth listening to but, unfortunately, I took a dislike to the voice of the narrator. For sone reason I didn't think her voice was young enough to be Astrid and although she did a really good job of the story and all the voices I still felt a bit let down. It did not stop my laughter, but it did distract me somewhat at times.

Read more Hide me
5 out of 5 stars
By Kindle Customer on 09-07-17

Excellent and funny

This book has a bit of everything in it would highly recommend. If your looking for a romantic paranormal comedy this book is definitely you.

Read more Hide me
See all reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Cheri on 16-02-16

Ridiculously Funny!

This was a ridiculously funny story, with so many parodies, like the foul mouth Angel named Ophra, a vampire named Paris Hilton, a fairy who acted like the Terminator but had questionable fashion sense, and other well know characters.

After Astrid is turned into a vampire, she receives training from her "guardian" angel and the bu-- kicking fairy and with all this divine intervention, she soon becomes one of the most powerful vampires. But when she meets Ethan, WOW the sparks fly! He was hot, sexy, charming and the attractions between them was instant and steamy.

I had fun listening to this story, it reminded of a good parody movie and had me laughing out loud. The attraction between Ethan and Astrid was steamy but funny as well.

Jessica Almasy performance was awesome and I thought she did a great job portraying Astrid's personality. Each character had their own voice, and she used the right amount of inflection throughout the story. Astrid and Ethan were my favorite characters.

The story does end on a cliffhanger but I didn't mind because I had already planned on getting book 2.

Read more Hide me

16 of 17 people found this review helpful

4 out of 5 stars
By AudibleAddiction on 15-03-16

Hilarious Vampire tale

I first heard about Robyn Peterman’s books from a recommendation on Molly Harper’s facebook page. Robyn’s work sounded like something I would enjoy but she didn’t have any books available in Audio format. Until now!

Astrid is a chain smoking, Prada loving, 20 something year old woman who teaches art classes at the senior center. After her beloved nana dies she makes a bet with her bestie that she can quit smoking. She feels like she’s tried everything and it isn’t working so she decides to see if hypnotism will work. Without spoiling the details of how it happens, she wakes up as a vampire. Astrid has a quirky guardian angel who has a bad potty mouth, a fairy who trains her how to fight and a best friend that sticks with her through anything and isn’t freaked out by all the supernatural beings that show up.

After meeting other vampires that Astrid likes, she decides to join them and pledge allegiance to their vampire prince. While waiting for the ceremony to start, she runs in to a vampire that she distrusts but has serious attraction to.

When I started this book, I really didn’t think I was going to like it. For some reason, it didn’t grab my attention in the very beginning, I think it was all of the mention of smoking and the Prada, but it didn’t take long for me to be completely hooked. This is a funny story with a lot of entertaining characters and there are plenty of laugh out loud moments. I love the chemistry between Ethan and Astrid. Even before finishing the book, I knew I’d read the next book.

There is an event at the end of the book that is an opening for the next book, but it doesn’t feel like a typical cliff hanger to me. It doesn’t leave you disappointed or frustrated, just curious about what comes next.

Read more Hide me

14 of 15 people found this review helpful

See all reviews