Summary

Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of people to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many now in troubled marriages who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it.
People in relationships with avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well - retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give.
The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is).
Yet there is some hope - though it may take years and require educating the avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication; if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done.
©2014 Jeb Kinnison (P)2015 Jeb Kinnison
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Mrs. G. Castro on 08-12-16

Very helpful!

This audio book is easy to understand and listen. I've definitely learned more about myself and how to deal with my attachment style.
I'm glad I've purchased it.

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0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Jolene Monheim on 10-04-15

Worth a listen!

As a person married to an avoidant I learned a great deal. Especially, that there is hope. I always wondered what was wrong, why my husband didn't take my needs into consideration, and thought that I was the problem... I'm an anxious avoidant. This book gave me a lot of information and my husband is listening to it too and finds it beneficial. We are practicing kindness and empathy!

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9 of 9 people found this review helpful

5 out of 5 stars
By b2995 on 30-08-17

Don't Even Think About Dating an Avoidant!

Save yourself some heartache. Learn how to spot these individuals and steer clear of them. This book helped me understand that it's really NOT me.

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5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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