• Dummy

  • The Comedy and Chaos of Real-Life Parenting
  • By: Matt Coyne
  • Narrated by: Matt Coyne
  • Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 20-04-17
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Wildfire
  • 5 out of 5 stars 4.8 (58 ratings)


The Sunday Times Top Ten Best-Seller
'The night before Charlie was born, I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier riding into battle, completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'
Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.
This is his book, and it is not your average parenting guide. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from Profanity Bingo for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.
Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people.
©2017 Matt Coyne (P)2017 Headline Publishing Group Limited
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Critic reviews

"A hero for dads everywhere." ( Daily Mirror)
"Very, very funny." (Phillip Schofield, This Morning)
"Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world." ( Daily Mail )
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Regular price: £19.99

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By J Croft on 30-05-17

Insomniacs beware - this book is definitely faulty

I use Audible because I have a sleep problem - I frequently wake in the early hours and find it hard to fall asleep again. The most effective thing to lull me back to sleep is TV but that turns my usually docile partner into a thing of abject misery, so I don't do it. Instead, Audible and headphones keep me company until I drift back to sleep.

Usually I don't mind the fact that I listen to books in sporadic and sleep-imbued chunks, because the upside is that I do get back to sleep. But this book didn't cut it. Instead, it kept me awake and laughing out loud - thereby waking the sleeping grump monster, who was very close to hiding my headphones in the end.

I actually didn't want to go to sleep, either, because I yearned to hear more of the author's musical Yorkshire gruff and colourful use of the full spectrum of insultative profanity. Both added something beautiful to the tales of teething, nappies, and parenting worries, and left me wanting more. How could I sleep, when I was so fabulously entertained?

I finished the book with bags under my eyes, the aching emptiness of sleep deprivation, and a hint of divorce from the grump monster. So be warned, fellow insomniacs. This book is not for sleeping. It is most definitely faulty.

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1 of 1 people found this review helpful

5 out of 5 stars
By Rob Ford on 02-04-18


Nice book and very relatable.
Love the humour and the way he doesn’t hold back.

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