One of the main causes of OCPD or negative perfectionism is an internal lack of self-confidence. A child with OCPD parents was often told exactly what to do and what not to do. There was never any room for the child to make a mistake and learn from it, nor was there any room to test out new skills or try new things in a no-pressure situation. Due to this, you were not often given the ability to do things that would build up your own self-confidence.
If your parents, teachers, or caregivers weren't overprotective or controlling, maybe you had a bad experience in a social activity or an especially embarrassing situation that happened to you. If you were a sensitive child, these things might have hurt you emotionally, causing you to possibly have post-traumatic stress or social anxiety.
You are experiencing a lack of self-confidence if you do the following things on a regular basis in your daily routine:
You feel the need to explain your actions or mistakes to others. Most people are understanding when we make mistakes or make certain choices. A confident person does not feel the need to overexplain any of his or her actions or mistakes. A confident person simply continues on with his or her day and doesn't dwell on what others are thinking about him or her.
You rarely leave the house without looking perfect and double-checking yourself in the mirror. You are afraid that your hair is messy, your shoes are dirty, or your clothes are mismatched. You are terrified that you might spill food or drinks on your outfit, so you are stiff and unfriendly in many situations, obsessing about your appearance. A confident person might bring an extra change of clothing or a bag of makeup with them in preparation for a wardrobe failure, but he or she realizes that genuine people won't worry about that.
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©2015 J.B. Snow (P)2015 J.B. Snow