A six-session training course for transforming your relationship with yourself.
Why does it feel so natural to be compassionate and kind to those we care about - yet so hard to treat ourselves the same way? "Our culture teaches us to use self-criticism for motivation and to build self-esteem by constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else," says Dr. Kristin Neff. "We need to re-learn the essential skill of being genuinely nurturing and supportive toward ourselves." With Self-Compassion Step by Step, this groundbreaking researcher reveals the clinically proven power of self-kindness, with practical training for cultivating an enduring and unshakable sense of your fundamental human worthiness.
Over the past decade, an overwhelming body of research has shown self-compassion to be a master key to good psychological and physical health. Whether you wish to reduce stress, develop healthy habits for exercise or diet, unlock your creativity, or even deal with serious conditions such as depression or addiction, a strong sense of self-compassion is an essential ingredient for success. Best of all, self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. Through six sessions of teaching, Dr. Neff offers guided meditations, experiential practices, and on-the-spot techniques to help you build a strong foundation of self-compassion in your daily life.
"We often become our own worst critic because we believe it's necessary to keep ourselves motivated," says Dr. Neff, "but in fact the research shows that healthy self-compassion increases our inner drive, our resilience to setbacks, and our ability to excel at work and in every aspect of life."
With Self-Compassion Step by Step, she presents a powerful training course that is both accessible and profoundly transformative - a practical approach for creating a life of greater happiness, fulfillment, and love.
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Transformed the way I see myself and the others.
I read a lot of self-help books and as a result, I've heard many times, we see in others what we have in ourselves. In other words "you've spot it, you've got it", both for positive and negative traits. But if we reverse the statement, we cannot see what's we don't have and we cannot give it to the others either.
I was programmed to achieve success, with no time or place for excuses - "if you want to count on somebody, count on yourself" motto used to lead my life. I always though I am compassionate, whenever watching tragic news on TV or hearing my friend's misfortune news I felt sad.
This book however opened my eyes and made me understand why my relationship with people feel distant and seem to lack affection, as well as why I feel this longing for understanding nobody can give me.
While listening to the book and doing the exercises I allowed myself to cry and it took a couple of weeks. It felt like my whole sadness surfaced and flooded me like a see. I was drowning. When I finally stopped crying, I had a very good look at myself, my life, the way I approached it, the way I coped with it and I realised how lonely I was all this time, holding to the unshared pain. I understood, all these years I was too pre-occupied searching for ways to fill my emotional hole to be truly concerned by the others.
Today, thanks to the book and Kristin's research, I understand myself so much better, and with self understanding came self love and self respect. I stopped running and had a look at what is happening around me and decided to do for the others, what I did for myself - to reach out, listen, cheer up, share, appreciate, respect and love.
I have a feeling that since working with the topic of self-compassion everyone changed around me, but obviously I know better, it was me who changed and the others only mirror my inner world.
The exercises, where for the first time I imagined myself, not as 4-5 years old, but as a new born, who resting on mother's chest, innocent, unaware, unprepared and completely dependant on other's people help, had to learn by trial and error, how to cope with all the demands and expectations the society has towards us and also how to deal with every failure.
I listed to the presentation on you tube. I like the fact the author reads out her own book, it gives it an extra value. Although Kristin's voice could be described as whiny at times.
If you want to deeply fall in love - go and meet your true self.
It is 'a must read' for those who work on the self-development and changing their life patterns.