• The Science of Trust

  • Emotional Attunement for Couples
  • By: John M. Gottman Ph.D.
  • Narrated by: J. Charles
  • Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 01-04-12
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Brilliance Audio
  • 4 out of 5 stars 4.0 (14 ratings)

Summary

For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect each other, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.
Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.
This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers a detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
©2012 John M. Gottman (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Mr on 16-12-14

This book saved my relationship!!!

Where does The Science of Trust rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Very high in fact it was life changing completely shifted my perspective and made me more solid in my lifes philosphy

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Science of Trust?

When I found out the actual secret to couples who make versus those who dont, example one happy couples still make jokes or smile or touch lovingly even when arguing. Happy couples dont escalate by throwing blame at each other and pointing fingers, happy couples state their exact need calmly without anger or blame or shame.

Which scene did you most enjoy?

When the doctor said happy couple argue as much as unhappy couples also the exact formula that people should stick to for creating trust

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

It made me cry with joy as i was reading it during a time of relationship trouble and as it happens my partner simply did not trust me for whatever reason, she completely reversed her feelings and is now the happiest woman you could ever meet!

Any additional comments?

It literally saved my relationship.

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4 of 4 people found this review helpful

4 out of 5 stars
By G. Pretorius on 23-12-12

Excellent Information for Couples

As practising couple therapist in the UK, who trained in Dr Gottman's work I can recommend this book. It contains excellent update on the research the Gottman's have done over the past few decades. And it works in practice. This book provides an introduction and update on their work.

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2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By RezIpsy on 26-07-17

Technical version of his other book

I rate this book high because I appreciate hearing the research methods behind the research. However, if you're not wanting to understand the methods that in depth I suggest Gottman's book What Makes Love Last. If you can appreciate the mathematics read this before that book. You'll better understand the research he refers to in that book.

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12 of 12 people found this review helpful

4 out of 5 stars
By Jesse on 07-04-15

Every married man should read this book.

This book and the 7 principles book have been vital tools in my efforts to save my marriage from my emotional distance and neglect. I recommend it to all men and women who want a committed relationship, period.

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13 of 14 people found this review helpful

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