• Why Won't You Apologize?

  • Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
  • By: Harriet Lerner PhD
  • Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
  • Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 10-01-17
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
  • 5 out of 5 stars 4.8 (10 ratings)


Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies - and why some people won't give them - for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Listeners will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.
Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party - the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
©2017 Harriet Lerner. All rights reserved. (P)2017 Simon & Schuster
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Regular price: £10.69

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Dillan Sadler on 26-12-17

This book is AWESOME!!!

I highly recommend this book. It has helped me a lot to make sense of a bad relationship and broken relation with family members. i have been recommending this book to a few people. I have learnt a lot!!!

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5 out of 5 stars
By linda clements on 20-03-17

Well done and thankyou

This book is fabulous. I love Harriet's work and this one does not disappoint. once you know the difference between a genuine apology and a fake one you won't be able to unknow that. so don't read if you don't want to learn this stuff. lol.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By D. Thomas on 19-10-17

I'm sorry

Several years ago I read two or three of Ms. Lerner's books. I moved away from self-help over time and I didn't give Ms. Lerner a thought since then. I know now that I have sincerely missed her wise words!

I am 62 retired, married woman in the Mid West. I really have a pretty small life. I go to knitting, and do a lot of genealogy while listening to Audible. I really don't have the need to apologize for much anymore. Or so I thought.

There is wisdom in this book. Not only wisdom on how to apologize right the first time when it really does matter. But how to live with the apology when you are still emotionally involved. Tough stuff. But words worth listening to.

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17 of 17 people found this review helpful

5 out of 5 stars
By Amanda on 18-07-17

Wonderful Insight

I thought I was good at taking responsibility for my behavior and limiting the number of times I have to apologize, however this taught me so many different perspectives about the pain and hurtful behavior or silence of the people who hurt us. We think they have no reason or right to be the a$$ who already made us feel " victimized " yet they are still playing the victim card...really.. This helped me to stop asking why me/ what the hell/what can/should I do or WHY IS HE /SHE TREATING ME POORLY ONTOP OF POOR when I was the one who had betrayed so badly and did the work to be treated as dirt, after being dumped on the first 50 times. I had forgiven and released the resentment and pain from the all my open wounds along time ago however I never had the closure and insight from the other persons pain and resentment towards me. I do think this book gave me the reassurance that this didnt happen to me, it happened for me( in my mind. There crurlty had nothing to do with me necessarily, it was never about me and everything to do with them and their emotional state. Im more empathetic and compassionate bc of my practices and understanding of mindfulness yet this book gave me 85% MORE VIRTUOUS Motivation towards my relationships. Im especially referring to my husband. Bc of this its been my source and its because if this that we are moving back to reunite. It has helped him to soften his heart towards me and for me. I advise anyone in partnership with harbouring resentment towards them to read and listen to this three times and pass it on!!

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7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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