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  • The Half-Assed Wizard

  • Volume 1
  • By: Gary Jonas
  • Narrated by: Joe Hempel
  • Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
  • 3.8 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)
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The Half-Assed Wizard cover art

The Half-Assed Wizard

By: Gary Jonas
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Summary

A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back.

The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information?

Magic was never my scene, but my dad is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen.

They say I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.

©2017 Gary Jonas (P)2017 Gary Jonas

What listeners say about The Half-Assed Wizard

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Fun and interesting start to a new series

The lead character Brett, is somewhat of a slacker, the third child of a powerful wizarding family and is fond of requesting explanations to anything to be in six words or less, so here's the six word version of my review:

Fun book, good narration, enjoyable starting-point.

While I enjoyed this book from the start and indeed went through it very quickly as it is not overly long either, I did think that the author may have laid it on a bit thick about just how lazy the main character was when that would obviously be changing by the end of the book.

However, this minor issue did not detract from my overall enjoyment of the book and I will be looking out for subsequent books in the series.

I had previously listened to a book with this narrator and like that one I found his performance to nicely enhance my opinion of the book, so another good job from him.

I would recommend this book to fans of urban fantasy, particularly those who prefer their protagonist to have a bit of snark to them.


[Note - I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.]

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

fine narration, story was a bust for me

This is the third male-led Urban Fantasy, written by a male I’ve read in a row. They all seem to have variations of the same ‘hero’ (anti-hero). They’re sarcastic, misanthropic, invariably powerful, but determined never to be seen trying at anything. I wondered for a while why these characters are so venerated. But I’ve ultimately decided that it’s a validation of the male (white male especially) world view that a true man conquers and succeeds because he is simply and inherently the best. He shouldn’t have to try at anything, because he will still always come out on top. What more, to be seen to be trying undermines the naturalness of their supremacy.

I say all this in order for it to make sense when I say I am tired of this character. Brett is the just one more of an overplayed, unimaginative ‘hero.’ Perhaps he could be king of these men who refuse to even try to live up to their potential (but still expect to be handed the winning ticket). He is after all just as half-assed as the title suggests. His literal goal in life is to sleep all day and live on daddy’s money, while simultaneously refusing to comply or cooperate with the family in any way. I found literally nothing in him to relate to or enjoy. I wanted to spank him like the whiney man-child he was (and not in any sort of fun way).

What makes this whole situation worse is that I couldn’t even truly believe his refusal to use magic. His commitment to never using magic required a dedication I couldn’t imagine him capable of, especially as lazy as he was.

All in all, the book is written well enough. The narrator did a great job. And I can imagine a whole host of Chads enjoying it. But I most certainly did not.

Note: I received an Audible code for a copy of this book. I chose to listen and review it.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

Another hit from Gary Jonas.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

Having listened to all his Jonathon Shade I was eager to listen to his new work and it didn’t disappoint.
Brett comes from a long line of wizards and witches but he would rather go through life taking hand outs and being lazy.
His cousin Sabrina arrives on the scene and things go downhill from there .
Joe Hempel narrated this perfectly as usual.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Four and a half hours of fun.

Both author and narrator are new to me but they certainly kept me entertained for four and a half hours with this wonderful Urban Fantasy. The main character was not one that I would normally enjoy at all, but somehow I found myself wanting him to succeed and beat the bad guys. I think that both the writer and the narrator were instumental in making me feel this way, and I'm not sure if I would have enjoyed the book half as much as I did, without Joe Hempel bringing Gary Jonas' words to life. I highly recommend both narrator and author to anyone looking for an entertaining, whimsical, and intense Urban Fantasy read.

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