Summary

**A humorous southern mystery**
For Rose Gardner, working at the DMV on a Friday afternoon is bad even before she sees a vision of herself dead. She's had plenty of visions, usually boring ones like someone's toilet's overflowed, but she's never seen one of herself before. When her overbearing momma winds up murdered on her sofa instead, two things are certain: There isn't enough hydrogen peroxide in the state of Arkansas to get that stain out, and Rose is the prime suspect.
Rose realizes she's wasted 24 years of living and makes a list on the back of a Wal-Mart receipt: 28 things she wants to accomplish before her vision comes true. She's well on her way with the help of her next door neighbor Joe, who has no trouble teaching Rose the rules of drinking, but won't help with number 15 - do more with a man. Joe's new to town, but it doesn't take a vision for Rose to realize he's got plenty secrets of his own.
Somebody thinks Rose has something they want and they'll do anything to get it. Her house is broken into, someone else she knows is murdered, and suddenly, dying a virgin in the Fenton County jail isn't her biggest worry after all.
Winner of The Beacon - 2010 Unpublished Division, Mainstream Category
©2012 Denise Swank (P)2012 Denise Swank DBA Bramagioia Enterprisees
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Critic reviews

"Though much of the book is light-hearted and occasionally outright hilarious, the author sneaks in a few home truths along the way that will hit you where it counts, like how even someone's best intentions can box you in." ( Everybody Needs a Little Romance)
"This was one of those books that I kept telling myself one more page, then I need to put it down. Instead I found myself tearing through the book instead, needing to know the outcome." ( Just Jump Book Reviews)
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Regular price: £19.39

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
3 out of 5 stars
By Liza1044 on 18-01-16

Story good, narration painful

The book is a combination of irritatingly stupid moments, a lead character that needs to get a grip and a really good story arch. Add that to a horribly twangy yet characterless narrator and I found it a struggle to complete but the tale kept me there.
If you can get passed the narrator's voice I think you should enjoy the story but that narrator nearly killed it for me. Be warned!

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1 of 1 people found this review helpful

5 out of 5 stars
By mollyeyre on 09-01-16

Worth a listen

Quite light hearted, I like the main characters and enjoyed the story.
The narrator was quite good most of the time but managed to make a few very odd mispronunciations.

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1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
2 out of 5 stars
By Amazon Customer on 03-05-16

I'm trying to get past the narration

Several hours into this book I'm trying to stick it out. The "southern" fried accent is part valley girl part hillbilly, combined with atrocious mispronunciations. Like smolding rage instead of smoldering, macrabe task instead of macabre, weary look instead of wary look, and now "he eluded an aurora" instead of exuded an aura??? See, I've even taken to stopping and writing them down. I think I'll switch to the kindle version. The story is almost engaging, but not worth the distractions. Doesn't anyone proof the recordings? incredible.

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19 of 19 people found this review helpful

2 out of 5 stars
By Tia Mayes on 09-03-16

Limerick or prose?

Who in the world decided that this narrator was the right choice? Her one-dimension limerick-metered attempt at a southern drawl about drove me insane!!

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19 of 19 people found this review helpful

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